Studies show that most men think about sex every 30 seconds. In that 30 seconds, the focus is squarely on the end the result. The focal point is rarely on her or what happens in the moment. This can lead to disaster. Lucky for you that we put together a list of some pitfalls you might want to avoid if you want a second round.
So read on and make sure that you aren’t turning your woman off without even realizing it.
Set The Scene
Any good coach will tell you if you made it to the championship act like you been here before. There is no guarantee you are going to make it back, so you should be prepared at all times.I realize that you aren’t necessarily a set designer, but seducing your woman will be a heck of a lot easier if your pad provides her with a comfortable and inviting atmosphere. That means no dirty laundry or empty pizza boxes on the floor, and no strange house guests on your couch.
So, tidy up a bit, dim the lights, put on some nice mood music, and pour her a glass of wine. Just make sure not to go overboard and turn your place into a Bond-like sex haven, with curtains that close with a remote, strategically angled lighting, and a mini-bar complete with ice machine built into the wall, or she will bolt before you can offer her a martini.
Pay Attention (whether verbal or physical) To Her
“Most women complain that men don’t listen and it translates into the bedroom as well,” says Nelkin. “Perhaps it stems from the male ego, which tells them, ‘I know it already’ or ‘I know it better than she does.'”
It is up to you to pay attention to her telltale signs until she is comfortable enough with you to really open up verbally. So don’t treat her like a blow-up doll and have your way with her (unless, of course, she has specifically asked you to do so).
Try to notice how she responds to your touch and react accordingly. If you sense that she is tensing up when you touch her or try to move her body in a certain way, it could be that you are being too rough or that she is ticklish, so be more gentle. If on the other hand, she seems completely unaffected by your caresses, it’s time to turn up the volume and shake things up a bit.
Kiss Her Zones
“Not warming up the engine properly before putting the foot on the accelerator,” says Nelkin. In other words — foreplay, foreplay, foreplay! “Insufficient foreplay can undermine the entire act of sex,” she says. “We women need it more than you guys do!”
The fact that you’re probably fascinated with a nice pair of knockers practically ensures that you will rarely forget to fondle a woman’s breasts during sex. Unfortunately, it is easy to forget that a woman’s body is full of less obvious erogenous zones.
Next time you’re in bed with your woman, try kissing her collarbone, where her shoulder meets her neck, gently running your fingers along her back, caressing and kissing her hips, or teasing the soles of her feet. Doing so will surely give her goosebumps and drive her crazy, and she will undoubtedly want to please you in return.
Don’t Be A Director
Once again, she is not blow up doll. While communicating your preferences is important, so is going with the flow and doing what feels right. So, don’t bark out orders like a drill sergeant and expect her to comply without question. Sex is supposed to be fun and free, not unpleasant and stressful.
Rather than being clinical with directions, try soft-spoken requests, communicating your desires with your eyes (for romantics only), or gently moving her body into the appropriately accommodating position and seeing her reaction. Such approaches will yield much more favorable results than the commando approach.
Don’t Assume She’s Satisfied
Just because you got off, that doesn’t mean that she’s satisfied. Remember that there is another person there with you who would also like to bask in that afterglow. At least make an effort to please her.
Look at it this way: If she is just as satisfied as you, she will likely be too spent for “pillow talk” and want to take a nap with you. So, get to it. Being selfish with sex is sure fired why to end a relationship.
While wanting to hit the hay after great sex is perfectly understandable, and often the natural thing to do, taking off on a woman after having sex with her is among the most rotten things a guy can do. Not only do you look like a jerk, but just think about how she’s left feeling.
If you can’t stand a woman enough to spend the night with her and not bail on her before sunrise, then you’ll have to deal with the aftermath (she’ll tell all her friends). At least spend 30 minutes talking to her before you split. Or, you can always opt to sleep with a chick you could bear looking at after you ejaculate.
This was originally published on GalTime, from our female friends who occasionally give us some much-needed tips. In this case, we hope they’re wrong (see first sentence and try to contain your groan).
Things Men Do In Bed That Every Woman Hates
Most men are overly confident when it comes to our bedroom prowess. You walk away feeling like King Kong, Thor, and Hercules don’t have shit on me mentality is often a huge turnoff. The bedroom is the last place you want to have selective hearing and to be selfish. That’s right selfish. There are few common mistakes and pitfalls that most men make.
Before you lose out maybe you should read what women have to say about what they hate that men do in behind closed doors.
Undressing before you are sure where the evening is headed.
It is awkward if you are standing there half naked and she is wondering why.
Have bad hygiene!
It is a non-starter if you haven’t showered or shaved in days. Come on men, we like women to be clean and smell good, they would appreciate the same from us.
Women like foreplay before getting to the endgame. Spend some time with it because unlike us, most women take more time to get ready. Beware, don’t finish before she is halfway there.
Ignoring everything except the big three.
Don’t just focus on between her legs, lips and her chest. Women do enjoy some exploration. Let you hands wander, and she may do the same to you.
Hair pulling or biting.
Don’t assume women want to have their hair yanked or their nipple bit. Just because you saw it in a porno movie does not make it true. You should talk to her about the level of roughness that is acceptable to her.
Surprising foreign objects.
Use your imagination and then don’t go there. Unless asked specifically, do not surprise her with a makeshift dildo. Or even the real thing.
Techno beats or heavy metal is not the usual mood maker men think for women.
Winning The Fight With Her
By nature, most men are not the pacifist and feelings are something to buried unless it is angry. We want to grab shields like Spartan’s and conquer thinking that every battle is the War of Worlds. But this tactic when dealing with your girlfriend can have you sleeping at a friend’s house or alone trolling for another girlfriend.
So to save your self-lonely nights of holding pillows for comfort try some of these types to win a battle without losing the war with her.
Before you go further, one code every man should live by doesn’t hit a woman. If the situation is getting to the point that you can’t talk, walk away. If you decide to stay and talk it out using the rules below.
1. Find Hidden Meaning
Think for a moment about what sets you off. Is there something she says and does—or doesn’t do—that makes you angry or, even worse, resentful? There’s nothing wrong with anger, but if you can figure out the “why” of what grinds your gears, you may be able to find a way to grease them so your engine doesn’t seize up. In the same vein, a circuit can only take so much current before it blows. To diminish possibly irreparable damage to your relationship, find a way to cut the juice to the offending trigger before you blow a fuse.
Ultimately, a great deal of anger response is learned behavior. You can’t control or change another person’s behavior; you can only change yours. Sometimes if you can get to the root of why something gets to you so much, you can let go of it. But depending on the severity of what’s upsetting you, it might not be that simple, and could become a deal-breaker.
2. Avoid “You” Out Of It
According to Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM, couples’ consultant, author of Where Sex and Spirit Come Together , many couples get into trouble by trying to “correct” their partner’s behavior. Conversations that begin with phrases such as: “You always…” or “You never…” or “I don’t like it when you…” can lead to hot water.
“The use of the word ‘you’ can be very triggering for most people,” Monet explains, “because it’s so often associated with criticism. A more successful strategy is to begin your sentences with the word ‘I.’ For instance, by saying, ‘I am unhappy,’ you can create a connection which will make them feel safer and less defensive.” She continues, “By taking responsibility for your feelings, your partner is enabled to show compassion … If something serious is at play and needs to be addressed, at least you’ll be in a much more stable position to discuss issues and find solutions to them as a team.”
3. Fight about what you’re fighting about.
If your girlfriend has said/done/not done something that’s triggered your anger response, that’s what you should be fighting about. If instead of facing the issue, you drag a lot of irrelevant crap into the mix, she’s not going to know what you’re going off about and you’re not going to get it resolved. You might be tempted to criticize her for something she’s wearing just because you’re already angry at her about something larger. Resist the urge. All that accomplishes is diminishing your argument about the larger issue by making you seem irrational.
4. Leave Your Friends’ Opinions Out of It
Every woman’s greatest fear in life, aside from dating an ax murderer and the possibility that her daily non-fat latte actually contains lard, is getting stuck with the “crazy” label. So even if all of your buddies think that she’s being totally ridiculous for expecting you to do something like text her while you’re hanging out with them, she doesn’t need to know they think she’s nuts. A) They’re your friends, so of course, they’re going to have your back. B) Telling her will only make her feel awkward around the friends you name the next time she sees them. And C) It’s guaranteed to drag your argument into overtime — and that severely damages your chances of coming out on top.
5. Don’t Make Empty Threats
The United States of America does not respond kindly to threats, and neither does your girlfriend. So if you give her an ultimatum — “Unfriend your ex and quit following him on Twitter or we’re so done” — you better be prepared to follow through. Women are nasty mental ninjas who will call your bluff, which will either force you to follow through and leave or back down with your balls in hand.
Harvard Professor Thinks Sex Robots Will Make Men Obesolete
The quest to build new tech sometimes is less about creating civilization and more about getting off. Sexbots has some countries worried and banning the dolls for fear of the impact it could have on human relationships. The market is currently 95 percent male dominated but that could all be about to change.
“I think it’s the men who should be worried. It’s entirely possible that robots can outperform them” said Dr. Cathy O’Neil who has a Ph.D. in mathematics from Harvard University in a recent Bloombergarticle
Dr. O’Neil went on to say that it wouldn’t be such a bad thing with the exception of killer robots.
“Would that be such a bad thing? In the #MeToo age, I feel like raising standards is quite reasonable. It’s called for, in fact. Make the men compete. It’s the dating equivalent of having free state colleges lower tuition rates everywhere.” says O’Neil, “Granted, there could be dangers. There is, for example, the possibility that hackers could turn sex robots into killers.”
Is it possible we won’t want to interact with humans anymore purely because it’s easier to deal with a robot? Another way to simplify life by avoiding the pitfalls of intimacy and challenges of relationship?
But even O’Neil wouldn’t forgo humans. “Don’t get me wrong, I have a good husband. I doubt I would trade in.”
Things Men Do In Bed That Every Woman Hates
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