Studies show that most men think about sex every 30 seconds. In that 30 seconds, the focus is squarely on the end the result. The focal point is rarely on her or what happens in the moment. This can lead to disaster. Lucky for you that we put together a list of some pitfalls you might want to avoid if you want a second round.
So read on and make sure that you aren’t turning your woman off without even realizing it.
Set The Scene
Any good coach will tell you if you made it to the championship act like you been here before. There is no guarantee you are going to make it back, so you should be prepared at all times.I realize that you aren’t necessarily a set designer, but seducing your woman will be a heck of a lot easier if your pad provides her with a comfortable and inviting atmosphere. That means no dirty laundry or empty pizza boxes on the floor, and no strange house guests on your couch.
So, tidy up a bit, dim the lights, put on some nice mood music, and pour her a glass of wine. Just make sure not to go overboard and turn your place into a Bond-like sex haven, with curtains that close with a remote, strategically angled lighting, and a mini-bar complete with ice machine built into the wall, or she will bolt before you can offer her a martini.
Pay Attention (whether verbal or physical) To Her
“Most women complain that men don’t listen and it translates into the bedroom as well,” says Nelkin. “Perhaps it stems from the male ego, which tells them, ‘I know it already’ or ‘I know it better than she does.'”
It is up to you to pay attention to her telltale signs until she is comfortable enough with you to really open up verbally. So don’t treat her like a blow-up doll and have your way with her (unless, of course, she has specifically asked you to do so).
Try to notice how she responds to your touch and react accordingly. If you sense that she is tensing up when you touch her or try to move her body in a certain way, it could be that you are being too rough or that she is ticklish, so be more gentle. If on the other hand, she seems completely unaffected by your caresses, it’s time to turn up the volume and shake things up a bit.
Kiss Her Zones
“Not warming up the engine properly before putting the foot on the accelerator,” says Nelkin. In other words — foreplay, foreplay, foreplay! “Insufficient foreplay can undermine the entire act of sex,” she says. “We women need it more than you guys do!”
The fact that you’re probably fascinated with a nice pair of knockers practically ensures that you will rarely forget to fondle a woman’s breasts during sex. Unfortunately, it is easy to forget that a woman’s body is full of less obvious erogenous zones.
Next time you’re in bed with your woman, try kissing her collarbone, where her shoulder meets her neck, gently running your fingers along her back, caressing and kissing her hips, or teasing the soles of her feet. Doing so will surely give her goosebumps and drive her crazy, and she will undoubtedly want to please you in return.
Don’t Be A Director
Once again, she is not blow up doll. While communicating your preferences is important, so is going with the flow and doing what feels right. So, don’t bark out orders like a drill sergeant and expect her to comply without question. Sex is supposed to be fun and free, not unpleasant and stressful.
Rather than being clinical with directions, try soft-spoken requests, communicating your desires with your eyes (for romantics only), or gently moving her body into the appropriately accommodating position and seeing her reaction. Such approaches will yield much more favorable results than the commando approach.
Don’t Assume She’s Satisfied
Just because you got off, that doesn’t mean that she’s satisfied. Remember that there is another person there with you who would also like to bask in that afterglow. At least make an effort to please her.
Look at it this way: If she is just as satisfied as you, she will likely be too spent for “pillow talk” and want to take a nap with you. So, get to it. Being selfish with sex is sure fired why to end a relationship.
While wanting to hit the hay after great sex is perfectly understandable, and often the natural thing to do, taking off on a woman after having sex with her is among the most rotten things a guy can do. Not only do you look like a jerk, but just think about how she’s left feeling.
If you can’t stand a woman enough to spend the night with her and not bail on her before sunrise, then you’ll have to deal with the aftermath (she’ll tell all her friends). At least spend 30 minutes talking to her before you split. Or, you can always opt to sleep with a chick you could bear looking at after you ejaculate.
This was originally published on GalTime, from our female friends who occasionally give us some much-needed tips. In this case, we hope they’re wrong (see first sentence and try to contain your groan).