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6 Steps to Get Out of the Friend Zone (And Not Feel Like a Complete Idiot)



get out of friend zone how to

Getting out of the scary and frustrating friend zone is no easy task, especially if you’ve been hanging out with this girl for a while.

While you two obviously enjoy talking to one another, laugh together and spend time (but nothing romantic), something just blocks her from seeing a potential boyfriend in you.

(So you end up cock-blocking every dude that attempts to make a move on her).

Escaping the friend zone like a pro

We’ve all been there and we’ve all heard the killer-of-a-man’s-dignity phrase, “Let’s just be friends,” basically telling you to back off because you are not mature/interesting/manly/strong/tall/or-whatever-the-f*ck-is-the-reason enough.

Or you sooo didn’t impress her as a male that she may have even said, “you’re such a good friend,” implying that she isn’t interested in cuddling or holding hands with you (and other romantic BS), let alone exchanging bodily fluids with you.

And you stand there, thinking to yourself, “Well, okay… we’ll just be friends then.” Because the fear of rejection is just too strong; and the fear of losing this cute girl prevents you from telling her straight-forward, “No, silly. You ARE my girlfriend.”

After all, this is no movie and you are no Ryan Gosling (but how cool would it be to say this phrase, take her face into your hands, press her body against the wall and kiss her lips passionately, right?). Though she would definitely be your girlfriend after something like that!

But I hear you, my friend (cough) man. No guy wants to make a fool of himself, and no guy wants to F-up miserably in front of their crush.

So how do you get out of the friend zone if you’re not Gosling and your life isn’t a two-hour chick flick? (particularly when telling her straight-forward that you like her feels scarier than punching Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson).

6-step strategy to get out of the friend zone

Analyze your game. Think about what mistakes you made in the beginning that landed you in this so uncomfortable and annoying friend zone. What is it that you may be missing in your communication with her (as a friend, for now) that could make her come to her senses and finally see a male in you if you had it?

Become the man she would want to wrap her legs around. If you’ve been friends for a while, you probably know her better than anyone else. What is she looking for in a man? Be that man for her.

Be boyfriend material-ish. While you’ve probably been told “just be yourself” BS numerous times, stop. What if this is the main culprit that is killing your chances with this girl? Guys who play the “just be yourself” card are usually way too friendly and nice with women. Get off that “white knight syndrome” horse and become a confident, classy and badass man.

Spend less time with her. That’s right, less. You see, friends tend to spend waaay too much time together (they chat, text, talk on the phone, Skype, share memes, Instagram stories, etc.) – up to the point that they never get the chance to actually miss one another. There’s just a lot of you in her life. Believe it or not, giving her less attention could help you win her over. After all, women do find uninterested / hard-to-get guys sexy for some reason…

Be bold. Okay, be prepared to roll out that inner Ryan Gosling in you (you do have it in you, ‘cause you’re awesome!). No more friendly hugs and high fives. Think: intimate, prolonged hugs, lingering touches, holding her hand, touching her face… You get the idea.

Say it! At this point she has had enough time to notice and evaluate your boyfriend properties (and you’ve given her plenty, TBH!), so you’re safe to finally profess your feelings and intentions. In fact, you may get out of the friend zone way before this step (see previous step “be bold,” the ultimate friend zone-killer).

Now that she’s yours, I told you had that Ryan Gosling in you, bro.

[Featured Image by StockSnap/Pixabay]


5 Bad Habits That Ruin Dates



You went on the first date and she didn’t respond to your messages. Maybe it’s problem with her, that she couldn’t see how great of a person are. Or maybe, just maybe, you have a problem. Unfortunately, some people don’t even know they have a problem and an even greater number of people don’t realize the possible outcomes associated with continuing these bad habits.

We have some of the top five bad habits men have on dates. Hopefully addressing these will help increase the odds for you to get a second date.

You Show Up Late

Punctuality is not the be-all and end-all of a good man. However, if you’re late all the time you’re certainly not winning any popularity contests with your main girl and this is surely a habit women hate. All emergencies aside, lateness indicates a lack of commitment to the plans you’ve made with one another. It also — whether intended or not — communicates a lack of respect and understanding for your date.

Staying Glued To Your Phone

It’s okay to have a busy social life that involves a lot of friends. It’s also okay to have a busy career that sometimes spills over into your free time. However, there is no reason that a man should be texting at the table. It’s extremely rude and it makes things really awkward. There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to eat and all the while this guy is clicking away at his phone. Men, keep your phone away until the date is over.

This goes along with texting, but there is no need to take a picture of yourself while on a date so that you can inform all of your Instagram friends. There’s also no need for you to chat on Facebook or update your status to keep all of your boys in the know of what’s going on. We also aren’t interested in seeing your friend’s dog or your camping trip from last summer.

Staring At Other Women

Women aren’t stupid. She knows you’re looking at women all the time. She knows you noticed the waitress, the bartender, and the girl at the next table. What she doesn’t want is for you to embarrass her or undermine her own looks by making a scene of it. She doesn’t want to notice that you’re noticing. If you’re gawking at other women, commenting on them as you pass or missing conversations with your own date because you’re so distracted, then you’re not giving your girl the respect and admiration she deserves, and she knows it.

Women have this thing with comparing themselves to other women, and it’s a zero-sum game. If you’re complimenting another girl’s ass, your date will assume that you mean it’s better than hers. This will make her feel less and less attractive with each comment until she wishes she’d just stayed home — and maybe next time she will.

Talking About Sex

You should avoid talking about sex on the first couple of dates. Yes, women like a confident man, but there is a time and place to have a conversation about sex. Most women are put off by men bringing it up in the conversation in the wrong setting.

Not only does it make the overall conversation and environment awkward, it also reflects on him poorly. When a guy talks about sex and other physical things, he is probably only interested in exactly that. After a few dates and some time spent getting closer and more comfortable, this sort of topic is all right. But on the first or second date? Goodness no! This may be on the top of the list of annoying things men do on dates.

Drinking Too Much

Just like a drunk woman, there is nothing less attractive than a man who can’t hold his alcohol or a man who doesn’t know when to stop. Having a few drinks on the first date is fine, in fact, this can be really helpful in making the two of you a lot less nervous and anxious. However, there is a certain point that you reach when you know enough is enough. A drunk man is annoying as can be.

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Stress Is Ruining Your Relationship



Everyone feels stress on a daily basis. EVERYONE. Rather is internal or external. From the daily grind of work, bills, deadlines, to an unbalanced relationship. Stress is often the key source to ruining relationships. It has a toxic effect that often times takes the form of blame, impacts intimacy, or worst.

“Stress is an emotional and physiological response to thinking that an event, condition, or situation is [terrible] and that no good can come from [it],” says Dr. Mantell. The trick is to adopt more positive frameworks for difficult situations. Try to remind yourself that you’ll get through it, that there may even be a good reason a certain stressor has occurred—and at worst, it’s only one bad event.

The good news is if you can see signs, you can improve your relationship.

#1. Your Irritable 

If you perceive everything your partner says as a slight or get miffed extra easily, stress may be a factor. The longer stress lasts, the more likely we are to feel grumpy or argumentative and lash out.

Give yourself time to acknowledge the root cause of your stress and frustration. Avoid the immediate outburst. Prioritize and make a commitment to resolve the issues. For example, if it is stress from work, make a rule to limit the conversations about work at home.

#2 She Can Be The Victim Not Problem

When we’re chronically stressed, we’re more likely to perceive even the best relationship in a negative light. We’re also unlikely to realize that stress is factoring into that perception. Placing the blame solely on her is draining and simply unfair. Sometimes he or she will be too overworked to help you as effectively as you’d like, and vice versa.

If you really care about her ask for help. Don’t try to solve every damn problem in one day. Set goals together on what you both want to accomplish.

#3 Not Enough Time

If you can devote hours of your day watching videos and working for some company. Then you gave yourself time. Time is the biggest causes of stress in the relationship. She wants more, you want more time. You want to do what you want and she wants to do something else.

Compromise for mutual time and be in the moment. That doesn’t mean go out with her and stay on your phone. Be in the moment. Schedule time to relax together and set rules that are acceptable to both parties.

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What Not To Text Your Ex



You and your woman decide to part ways. The spark is gone, but you leave the relationship on “good” terms. It’s understandable the doubts cross your mind, did you make the right call, should you have fought a little harder to keep her?  You still have some of the things and want to use it as an “excuse” to talk to her.

Whatever the reason you have for texting your ex you have to keep some rules in mind if you don’t want to appear desperate and heartbroken.

Ten things to never text to your ex:

1.  One word text. “Hi” or “Yo”. Be direct with your reason for contacting her. Leaving a one-word text could leave you waiting for a response because she is waiting on more context behind the sudden text.

2. Sex text. You haven’t seen her in a month. You don’t know her situation, nor do you want her to think that is all you want from and the total worth of your relationship. Avoid the Favre text move, unless you have rekindled your relationship. If not you can have a bitter ex exposing you on social media.

3. Hulk rants. If your upset, go to the gym and work it off. Don’t send her hateful messages about the breakup or jealous messages because she moved on. If she hasn’t responded to your text get the hint and move on.

4. Drunk texts. If your ex is on your mind before you go drinking, give you one of friends instructions to take the phone once you have reached your limit. You may find yourself with sending out an apology text next day.

5.  The flood texts. “Why didn’t you text me back?” “Did you get my message?” “I HIT YOU UP 10X” Send one text. Allow her time to respond to you, if she doesn’t enjoy the single life until you find someone else.

6. Relationship talk. In the words of Andre 3000 “Spaceships don’t come with rearview mirrors”  meaning leave the past in the past. Don’t reminisce with her over a text message. If the conversations are progressive and positive. Calling and talking about your relationship is more personable versus sending her an 8-page text.

7. Desperate apologies and pleading. Do not try to win back your ex by begging over text. “Come on man”  you’re better than that.

8.  Stalker text. Stop trolling her social network pages. You and her are no longer together which means you should be out of her social circles.  So never text her about an event she was at or who was in the picture with her. It just makes you appear jealous and is not a good look.

9. Emotional text. “I still love you”  Pause and think about before you press send. You separated for a reason and being overly emotional can open a door you don’t want to be opened. When in doubt, don’t press send. Read the message, let it stay as a draft for couple hours. After you have waited and your head is clear press send or delete.

10. The buyback text. Don’t try to win her over, but saying you buy something for her. It is never worth to buy someone’s emotions. It leads to a road that is hard to sustain and will eventually create an empty feeling.

But when in doubt, don’t text just clear your head before you press send.


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